Wedding Rehearsals

[Lilo B.]

Lorchen,

You are correct about the "new step Mother". Blended family weddings offer the most challenges for a coordinator. Lots of emotions--not counting the bride. I usually had a very frank discussion with the families (all of themm) to let them know that the wedding day is a day to set aside personal feelings and celebrate the joyous union of two special people in their lives. Works most of the time. But, I have done a lot of hand holding and tactical manueuvering as well over the years. A challenging day to say the least. The main thing for the coordinator is to appear like a duck on a pond. Calm on top and paddle like h-ll underwater. LOL

Just may have to call Alex for the dress. But,we are talking Colorado in December. It may be a bit cold.

Lilo

[Lilo B.]

TQSWizard, how interesting you are a former wedding coordinator, and can add so much to this thread! We were recently at a family wedding where the father-of-the-bride and the bride are not talking to each other :roll: It was very tense! (her parents are separated but not divorced). The father wasn't even listed on the wedding invitation, which I thought was extremely rude (he wasn't barred from attending the wedding, though!) The groom's parents put on the wedding reception, which was very nice, but I had one EXTREME problem with their seating arrangement. We were all seated at round tables. The groom's parents did not know past history, and set us in a very difficult predictament! I don't blame them because they couldn't have known, but I now know I am opposed to place cards and arranged seating!! Anyway, weddings seem to bring out both the best and the worst of people, wouldn't you say?

[Hannelore N.]

Lilo, does your old job mean that you still have a wardrobe full of lovely clothes?

The last wedding that I went to didn't require a big and expensive shopping spree. One of my son's best friends got married. The bride belongs to some unusual and nature-based religion, so it all took place in a clearing in the middle of the forest. It was a very happy event - no stress, no tension, and glorious weather. Sometimes simple solutions are great!

Lilo, I hope you find your job with TQS more interesting than arranging lots of posh weddings!

Lorchen

[Lilo B.]

Lorchen,

Actually I do have a lot of evening wear in storage. But it was used more while we were in the military (we are retired now). Most of the time for weddings I would wear something nice, but also comfortable and funtional. Lots of running around. Sexy slit dresses and high heels just don't work when you are on the job for 8-12 hours. LOL.

I personally prefer small intimate weddings, to the big lavish affairs promoted by magazines and TV. It really is hard for the couple and families to spend any time with huge numbers of guests. As the mother of the groom this time, I am helping out but trying to make sure that decisions are left up to the bride's family.

Working at TQS allows me to still put my organizational skills to use and the wardrobe budget has gone down considerably. Most days I sit at my desk in pj's or jeans. When we are taping I have to dress up a bit. LOVE working with everyone at TQS!! I also love meeting all of the quilters around the world.

Lilo

[Lilo B.]

I too am against assign seating. I basically only assigned special people. ie Grandma had seat near the bride unless they let it be know when I asked they wanted to sit with another group of relatives (out of town-ers.) I made sure there were extra seats at all the table for the TABLE HOPPERS.

My daughter the bride had been against those arrangements until she sat down and tried to figure out the seating... she gave up after an evening of pulling her hair out. I paid a little extra for an entire table that I did not expect any guest to sit at but it was just extra seating.... turned out to be the busiest seats in the house.

We also had kid seat separate from the parents... we stocked it with all kinds of neat items.. coloring crayons, wedding books and place mats, small toys and games (ie pick up sticks, helicopters, dominoes) Surprise! the teens and tweens gathered there too, to play with the little ones. I think the best part of the evening was when we took the guest outside to a beautiful lawn garden area. (Caters were setting up the dinner meal after hor dorves and drinks) We had two events that guests were to view....

Release of balloons... Guest were given helium balloons that they release into the air. That is kind of a tradition at our family weddings. And I realize it is not environmental friendly.


Tossing of KIDDIE Bridal Bouquets or children under 12 years... The bride tossed a silk flower bouquet that broke apart into smaller posies ... each child could get a small token. The kids and parents loved the event and so did the other guests. We had the big girl bouquet toss after dinner much later... most of the kiddies were home in bed by then. ( We had made the bouquets ourselves out of left over decoration flowers ... it cost less then $5.00.)

The kids were also given bottle of wedding bubbles to use before they got called back into the dinner. The bottles were small so the bubbles were gone after just a short while but it kept the kids busy.

[Lilo B.]

Back to the original question in this thread, I think the U.S. has unlimited versions of "tradition" because of the whole melting-pot thing. Depending on the families, and the bride and groom - almost anything goes! But the rehearsal dinner is pretty common, at least from where I harkin from - northern Wisconsin!

[Hannelore N.]

I think it's always wonderful to make your own traditions. My sons and I have been doing that more or less since they were born. Not only the US is a melting pot of cultures. My father grew up in the very North of Germany and is part German, part Danish. My mother's family is from Eastern Germany, and when you go back a couple of generations it gets really interesting because Poland, The Czech Republic, and Hungary come into play. And I ended up in England with an English husband. My sons and I have always picked from the various cultures whatever we like best. A good example is food. You can't beat my Tante Lotte's apple cake, originally a Danish recipe. My maternal grandmother's jellied eel was divine, and she made a mean bread with caraway seeds, handed down from the Czech side of the family. All three of us love the old North German Frikadellen (large meatballs) and the recipe for teabread has come from my ex-husband's Auntie Doris. With all that Central, Eastern, and Northern European mix I sometimes wonder why my younger son looks like an Italian pizza baker (very big grin).

Is there any typical food that you find served at a lot of US weddings? Here in England the only thing that you find at every wedding is the traditional wedding cake. Everything else is up to the people involved and can really be anything.

Lilo, it's lovely talking to you and finding out a little more about you. We are all so wide spread all over the world, and most of us will never meet in person, that a place like this is the only place to get to know eachother a little better.

Lorchen

[Hannelore N.]

Lorchen, you crack me up! I love hearing about life in other nations - it really enriches this web club! Our area in Wisconsin is heavily influenced by East European, Scandinavian, and German cultures. For one thing, beer is pretty important to a lot of people! (Don't look at me, I hate the stuff). But also stuffed cabbage rolls and sauerkraut, meatballs, pickled herring (fish), smoked fish, and not to mention, wild rice (from the native American population).

[Hannelore N.]

Well, Linda, I looove pickled herring. I'd even love to eat it at a wedding. But do not, under any circumstances, give me any beer. A small glass of beer and I'm anybodys. I have no problem with stronger stuff. I'm fully functioning and don't even get a hangover. It's just beer that doesn't seem to agree with me.

So, what would everybodys favourite food and/or drink be at a wedding reception? Personally, smoked trout fillet with horseradish cream on pumpernickel (very dark rye) bread, would be top of my list, and a very large glass of mango juice with plenty of ice. Or, if it's a fairly informal occasion I'd love anything Mexican.

Lorchen

[Hannelore N.]

I HAVE TO GET IN ON THE FOOD DISCUSSION....

My daughter is 3/4 Italian then what we call " Heinz 57" just a mix of what ever national group settled in the mid WEST ... we have German, English, Scotch and milkman on my F-I-L family. The grooms family is strong Slavic and Polish in the background.

We live in rural MI and could not find anyone that cooked any REAL ethnic foods/ flavors. ( Of course we are critical because we are grew up with ethnic foods.)

All the caters up here make basic American menus.... and I am sorry to say this but the worse casseroles they called spaghetti. It ended up we went with the cater for the meats and basic vegetables, salads, and side dishes. We added a lot of other foods reflecting our own background.

Groom family had some one bring in stuffed cabbages and home baked breads and breadsticks and desserts.

We had an Italian cheese and fruit board along with some skewers of marinated grilled pork for the appetizers. I made mostacholi with sauce from scratch for the main dinner. Cousin Roberto brought Grilled Italian Sausage in a sauce. We also served along with cannelloni and pizzelie and the traditional cookie tower. We had a seven cake- wedding cake with each cake a different flavor with different filling and a whipped cream frosting.

We had over 220-250 guest and the reception cost less than $6000 ( Foods we supplied and ordered, the cost of hall, dinner $12 / per plate, church and minister. ) I know that was considered to be a good price for the party we had. My husband and I paid for most of the reception but the groom family paid for parts of the party. All fiscal decisions were made at the beginning of the planning and we all worked hard to keep within the original budget. MY DD did scale back her original ideas in order to keep within her budget.


I am sure other family do similar adjustments to their family receptions and parties. Everything is dependent upon background, family tradition, circumstances and income.

[Beth A.]

My sister got married on the first-floor deck of her new father-in-law's home, which was still under construction. they had to hike up the mountain to get there, so she was married in hiking boots.

BethMI

[Judith T.]

I missed out on all of the wedding planning as my DD headed off to WV with her two best friends, her boyfriend who had a judge as a friend, to go kayaking and returned home after the weekend and announced that she had gotten married. Boy , was that a shock. That marriage lasted 7 years. My feelings were hurt at the time but think of all the money I saved. Judy in AZ

[Judith T.]

Okey, dokey. I should not be reading all these wedding posts because my DD's wedding is August 30th. Yess, just 9 days to go! I thought all was well in hand until I got a call a few minutes ago that I have to make a 3 hour drive to her house, pick up her gown that I just took to her a few weeks ago, bring it back to my neighborhood to get it pressed correctly. I know you all will think I'm NUTZ but there is a story here. The gown from her first wedding (the dress of her dreams) was ruined by an overly zealous dry cleaner just 3 days before her first wedding so she has well gounded fears that something disastrous will happen to this dress. She has had the store where it was purchased steam it and it is not to her satisfaction. (I'm all around p***ed with this shop anyway..another story) So this is why I am ok with driving 3 hours to get the dress, bring it home and then take it back along with me for the wedding. She has seen her sisters dress(matron of honor) that is from the same kind of fabric as her dress and was pressed/steamed at our local dry cleaners and says that , compared to that dress, her gown looks like a crumpled towel. The things we do for our kids! I am pretty much going to spend the next 8 days praying that God will be my strength and carry me through any high anxiety moments will grace. Maybe I should put myself on the prayer request list?! LOL!! Sally in NE Ohio

[Patti P.]

Mandy I think that sounds like fun. My parents have the same story. My dad converted and they were married in the catholic church when I was 4 yrs old. Of course, bid mouth here ran up and down the neighborhood telling everyone that my parents were getting married! :roll:

And yes Sally, we will pray for you!

[Judy M.]

Judy, you DID save ALOT of $$$ :!: :!: :!: Sally, the prayer list would be a GREAT idea :!: :!: :!: :lol: All four of my kids are married with children and each wedding was totally different. Lorchen, I've been to weddings with food that ranged from barbequed pork sandwiches & beans, another had a Mexican dinner (yummy!) and yet another had a prime rib dinner (even yummier!). One wedding I attended was on the Queen Mary in one of the beautiful ballrooms--that couple paid about $25,000.00 just for the ballroom and dinner. They had an orchestra that played "Big Band" music. It was really beautiful! (I DO think I need to mention that the bride & groom are both lawyers.) Most of the weddings in the USA really depend upon what people can afford. I think it's a little crazy to spend on a wedding what a good down payment on a house would be.