Hmm..................

[Judy M.]

Here is my two cents:

Most people don't plan for retirement...what I mean mean is they don't plan how they are going to fill up their days.
Men have far more of an adjustment then women. If you notice, most men have friendships at work. When they retire...generally those friendships stay at the work place. Women tend have friends outside of the work place.

I know the far greater concern is having enough money to exist on. And for women it is far more important since we outlive men.
Both my husband and I have rethought how we view retirement. We have decided it will become our second chance. We can change careers if we wish. I know for a fact, my husband cannot just stay at home so he is planning on doing contract consulting work.

Whatever you decide...talk about a game plan including finances and home chores (remember women NEVER retire).
Start laying the ground work now. For men, become involved in various groups in the community. This will create a network of friends and perhaps support. For women...do the same. Do something outside the work place.

FW

[Judy M.]

I can't recommend retirement enough. I retired at 50 and my husband at 53. We bought a sailboat and spent all our time on that. Then in October of 2007 we sold our house in Md along with the boat and moved to Texas. I get to go home to England at least once a year. DH can drive me crazy on occasion being underfoot all the time but all in all it works out well. Since Texas is so much cheaper to live in than Md we can do more. Our next adventure is to buy a Motor Home and travel the USA. (If the price of gas doesn't go to crazy) We will keep the house for the winters here. I miss my friends terribly but I am making new ones and meeting people at quilt classes. My only regret is that we didn't move to Texas earlier, I love it and the people are wonderful. If anyone would like to meet in New Braunfels I am always up for a day of fabric shopping and lunch.

Wendy in New Braunfels Texas

[Eileen K.]

Thanks everyone. You've given me some ammo to discuss with him. His point is that he doesn't want the gov't to keep any of his leave, he wants it all.
We're going to our son's for dinner on Monday(DIL's cooking a belated Mother's Day dinner)and I'll bring it up like a family meeting.
eileenkny

[Eileen K.]

We have a while to go yet, but retirement is on our minds here too. My dh is currently in his mid 40's and I am 10 years younger, so it seems a long way off in a way, but I know it is just around the corner. We have been fortunate in that Rj has a good thrift savings plan at work as well as several life insurances he has maintained through the years so we at least think we will be ok... of course if the economy goes completely nuts you never know.

Recently Rj has been becoming more and more disappointed in his current job, and I can feel it comming - he is going to quit and change jobs. Currently he is working for the Department of Energy as an analyst, but he has a PhD in Mechanical engineering. I know he could get a job teaching just about anywhere, but the idea of moving is daunting to say the least, and there would also be a probably pay cut for a while at least. I would have to go back to work (not a problem really - I miss it) and the kids would be uprooted. It just makes me nervous really. At the very least I know his retirement is there for him when he turns 55, and if he is still there then he will take it and leave for a private sector job of some kind for a few years.

Eventually we do have a plan for retirement. Once the kids are done with school and we are both retired we plan to sell the house and buy an RV. In the winter we will rent close to wherever the kids are living, and during the summer we want to pick a Drum and Bugle corp to tag along with and help and travel the country. Rj teaches trumpet/soprano bugle, drums, and marching drill as a hobby, and these groups are always looking for volunteers to help with everything from music instruction to running the chow truck, so this is a real dream for him and I have to say it would be a lot of fun. Even if we only did it for a couple of summers it would be worth it.

[Eileen K.]

Eileen tell DH that he's lucky to have been able to accrue some leave, the alternative is to have health issues that could have cost WAY more than the value of that leave. YOU are in a great position to point that out!
Florence

[Eileen K.]

Wendy, what do you mean if the price of gas doesn't go crazy? :shock: It is $3.78 here in Franklinville NY. :roll: We had to for go our vacation because we just couldn't afford the gas this year and my hubby couldn't get time off work.
Eileen, My hubby has no vacation time, no sick time, no holidays, and no retirement. The only benefit to his job is that it is 1 mile from our home. Oh and our kids bowl for free. He gets no respect and no compliments. He hates it! Yet he will not quit. Why because his employers have lied to banks and prospective employers about his employment. He has applied for jobs here in town and has been told that there was no position available. Only to find out later that this was done as a favor to his current employer. We have been told this from several people who work in the offices wanting to know why he was not hired. My hubby is a very hard worker. In fact many times he is the only one working and not setting at the bar watching TV. He keeps bowling machines running in the winter and the gulf corse looking good in the summer. In fact this week I have gone up to give him lunch and he was the only one out on the corse. The other ones were inside because it was too cold. :twisted: He goes inside to warm up his hands and gets asked what he doing :?: :!: Tell your hubby he could have these idiots for bosses but he would probably have the intellegence to tell them where they could put thier tractors. :twisted: :shock: Tell him you love him no matter what you just want him happy but most important yu want some time with him. Maybe he can take semi-retirement. Rachel :wink: :idea:

[Eileen K.]

Here's something that should make you all giggle a little. My little one Elijah just came to give me my good morning kiss. Iwas scrolling through the quilt show catagories. He read "How To Dye".
Rolled his eyes and said "Jeez you people even have a way your suppose to die...that's kinda weird don't ya think" . . . "I'd get new friends if they were that bossy" :shock: I'll explain it to him later. Happy Mother's day ladies. Rachel

[Eileen K.]

Rachel,
Elijah's one smart, funny kid. :lol:
You can read on my blog how my weekend is going. To make a long story short-DD had a car accident yesterday with the car we just paid off in March. We have a $1000 deductible and we don't know what's going to happen.
I know he's thinking how bad the money situation is going to be now. He's not going back into car payments. If it's totaled, we're going to get a car with whatever they give us so that we own it outright. He said if payments do have to be made, Keri's going to have to make them.
I'm trying not to have a pity party here, but so far, this Mother's Day sucks.
Oh yeah, gas here is between $3.77 and $3.95 depending on the station.
eileenkny

[Eileen K.]

Rachel, when I said about the gas price going too crazy I had watched a news show that said it could go to $6 or $7 a gallon. We paid $3.49 two days ago. We thought about trading our vehicles in for a more economic ones but dealers don't want them, as they get stuck with them. We have stopped a lot of what my DH calls mindless driving. I hope he's not talking about my trips to the quilt store!!!. He wonders where my minds at sometimes when I almost had a conniption fit about milk being 3.89 a gallon. Of course I told him I couldn't go to the store on a gallon of milk. (unless i buy a cow)
Wendy

[Eileen K.]

Several years ago my DH and I decided that after living 12 hours away from the grandchildren that we would buy a house near the grandkids about a year before his retirement so we could really become a part of their lives and not just visit a couple of times a year. I would work part time (as a nurse) for the health insurance benefits and he would finish up at his job and then come up to join me when he retired. Well......last November we did buy a house close to the grandkids in IL, I moved, and got a part time job with benefits. We were very lucky and sold our home in AL and DH moved into an apartment for the remainder of his time there. However........he has now gone over and over the finances and with the recession and the market has decided to put off retirement for possibly 2-3 years!!! So I'm stuck here by myself for who knows how long. Don't get me wrong.......I LOVE being close enough to the grandchildren to babysit and go to their school functions and ball games, etc.....but I didn't want to be alone for 3 years!!! I truly believe he is scared to death to leave his job and won't find something else to bring in some money for everyday expenses since "we will probably live to be 100" (yeah, right). He's convinced this is what he has to do. After being married 37 years, living alone is not fun! BTW, he now resents me for "talking him into" this move and that I get to see the grandkids frequently!!!! MEN.............ARGHHHH!!!

Patricia

[Gloria H.]

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms here on TQS. Thanks for the sacrifices we've (I'm including me) made, the compromises we've had to make, the hardships we've endured, and everything else Moms everywhere do because we are Moms. Here's to celebrating the joy and the love that is the other side of the coin. Love to all, Gloria

[Gloria H.]

I hope that all of our younger members are following this thread. I encourage every younger person that I am able to talk with to start an IRA as early in their working life as they can, and that after that, every time they get a raise, put half of the new money away in their IRA or some other investment, a 401K if they have one available. Since they haven't had that money, they won't miss it, and they will still have the other half of the raise to spend. I wish I'd started a lot sooner. Take a look at what you spend. Do you smoke? Eat out several times a week? Go to movies in the evening instead of the matinees in the afternoon when it's cheaper? That money could help you in later years to be able to leave a job that you hate, and retire early.

Okay, I'm putting my soap box back in the closet for now.

[Eileen K.]

Pat,
You can keep that soapbox out for as long as you want.lol
I had DH explain to our DD what he wants to do. She's studying to be a social worker/psychologist so I wanted her viewpoint.
She told him that yes, it would benefit him financially to stay but at what cost to him mentally and emotionally? His answer was that he goes in to work and just does his job-ignoring most of the people around him. He really believes that he's an island and that he can just keep going this way.

It's heartbreaking to listen to him sometimes-he really loves what he does. He works as a plans and programs manager for an Air National Guard base. He has always followed all the rules and regs. There have been changes in the wing command and people take shortcuts and do things their way instead of the way the regs want them to, and it really grates with him. He's considered a dinosaur-behind the times. They want him to do things so illegal that it could cost him his job were he to get caught but he won't go along with them.

One good thing-he's got so much annual leave that he can stop working in October of 2010 and officially retire in January of 2011. Originall, he would have stopped work in May and put his papers in in July 2010. He rationalizes that it's only 5 more months.

I'm planning vacations already. He and I are going to Virginia Beach in September for a week, and we're taking the family to Orlando in August. I'm not waiting till "someday".

eileenkny

[Eileen K.]

Hey Eileen I don't think you can get from NY to Va Beach w/o going thru Fredericksburg! Maybe you could take a break about here (you'll need it after getting past DC!) and we could meet for lunch, coffee, cocktails(!)(sorry DH, you're driving!) OR our LQS is just a few miles directly off I-95, and just last week I learned they're expanding their shop! Florence

[Sandy F.]

I am constantly telling my kids it is never to early to think about retirement. Working in the school systems my daughter has a retirement plan but reading the paper this morning it may not be something she can count on in 25 years. My husband is 9 years older than me and he retired a couple of years ago but he works two days a week and is happy. He putters around the house and yard and I don't know what I would have done without him while taking care of mom and dad at our house and theirs. But we depend heavily on my income and as soon as we get our home improvements completed we are going to calculate what our combined retirement income will be and start living on that income and saving the remainder (except for special things) to get accustomed to a smaller income and to help us know what that smaller income needs to be.