I need guild meeting etiquette advice please

[Eileen K.]

Hi there.
I've been quilting for about 6 years now. I've always done this alone and I don't personally know any other quilters. I learned from books and Simply Quilts.

I'm interested in joining my local guild, but I have some questions. I have two little girls - one is 5, the other is 20 months. My husband has his own business so he works strange hours and his availability to watch them is erratic. Is it appropriate to bring them with me? I have no idea what a guild meeting is like, or how formal, etc.

I tried to contact the guild through their website but haven't heard back. The website encourages new folks to just come to a meeting ( I guess because they don't answer e-mails), but I don't know if I can go with my girls, or if I need to wait until a month when the meeting day happens to fall on a day my husband is home.

Do you think it would be okay to go with the kids a little early so I can talk to a real person and ask, and then leave if the kids aren't welcome? I don't want my first interaction with the guild to be making some silly etiquette mistake.

Sorry if this is a goofy question, I just know nothing at all about guilds.

Thanks for any thoughts!

[Judy M.]

Hi, Karabu--I would definitely go early to a guild meeting and talk to someone about their age rules for meetings. Some guilds don't allow anyone under 12 yrs. old--this is so there won't be "kid noise" during the speaker. It can be very boring for kids! You can also find a small group of quilters that meet once or twice a month in homes. Sometimes you can bring the kids to these, especially if you find quilters with small children, too. Hope this helps. Judy in Torrance

[Paula D.]

MORE quilters should bring their children - in fact, guilds should look into offering programs/instruction for guild members' kids. Perhaps they can have their own little meeting while the guild does their boring "housekeeping" stuff. I love the idea of little kids in the audience. Hope your guild is receptive.

[Barbara B.]

Karabu, you are to be commended for even asking the question. Our guild has at least 150 in attendance at each meeting and children are not invited. Judy said it very well--the kids can't help but get bored since we sit and listen for about 2 hours.

If you're local guild is a smaller guild you may a find different response. So go early and ask to speak to a board member. I'm sure you will quickly get your answer!

Guilds are a great way to increase your knowledge and gain new friends. It might be well worth your effort to have a "standing" babysitter for guild meeting nights--many of our members do because they do not want to miss a meeting.

Best wishes!

Barbara

[Barbara B.]

My guild is small - about 30 people usually attend. We've had babies in their carriers, of course, they're no problem. We've had many little daughters, in fact we had a 9 yr. old enter a quilt in our show! Lately, we have a member who almost always needs to bring her 10 yr. old son. He just sits and works on homework or plays his gameboy. No one ever seems to mind. I would think your older daughter could sit and color and no one would mind; I'm not sure how you'd keep the younger one busy and quiet.

You're probably right to ask ahead of time since rules vary greatly. Perhaps, if enough were interested, someone could bring their older daughter and she could watch younger children in a separate room. We did this years ago at Boy Scout leader meetings. Each mom who needed the sitter paid her a few dollars. A win-win situation for all involved.

Some guilds just want you to leave the kids home and enjoy an evening out without them. You're wise to check on the rules.

Good luck! Nancy in Brrrr western NY

[Barbara B.]

Thank you so much for your advice everyone. I guess I'll start by seeing if my husband happens to be home on the next meeting day and go from there.

I feel a little silly because I see their table at the local fair every year, and for the past two summers have thought to myself, "I should go talk to them.", and then wimped out. See what putting things off does!

Thanks again.

[Barbara B.]

Hi, Karabu, I think that you would enjoy yourself much more if you don't bring your little ones. Perhaps you could trade a few hours babysitting with a friend, you sit with her children that number of hours a month. It would give each of you a break.

I am like you in that I taught myself from books and magazines. I joined a guild a couple of years ago and have enjoyed it very much.

Please keep us posted if you join a guild and how you like it. Good luck!

JoAnne in southern California

[Hannelore N.]

I work full-time with children and have brought up two of my own, so I actually love kids of all ages, but I must admit that I would not like my quilting activities, that take place in my very scarce free time, to be interrupted by noisy and bored children. If, on the other hand, they are old enough to participate, then that's fine with me.

There is the possibility to get together with a few other young mothers and meet socially on a regular basis, including quilting activities.

When my sons were little I had an arrangement for several years with a neighbour who had children of a similar age. She went to slimming club meetings on a Tuesday, and I was teaching a German class on a Thursday night. We looked after eachother little ones. It worked really well.

I hope you'll find a solution.

Lorchen

[Hannelore N.]

My guild meets in the evenings. I will just say it...children can be testy and tired if the meetings are in the evenings. We have a situation in our bee group that meets. Frankly, we don't seem to get much done when the little ones are around. We only meet once a month and some times I feel cheated out of my time.

I was once a young mother myself and valued my time away from my little guy. It was a chance for me to focus on something which gave me pleasure and refreshed me as a mom.

FW

[Hannelore N.]

I am A mother of 6 some times it is good to get away sometimes it will help to make you a better mom to get away but I all so know how it feels to leave them but you will be back a better person for them Happy