Did You Hear...?

[Eileen K.]

I was thinking about the posts with the lovely comments made by the innocence of children and was wondering if anyone else had some more.

I was in a First School as head secretary for eight years and wish I had kept a note of some of them, even the ones that came into the staff room from other members of staff. I advise anyone who works with children to do so. At the very least it will bring a smile to your face in the future or you could make a booklet of it and sell it at the school fête.

My favorite that comes to mind...

At lunchtime, after washing hands and picking up their lunch boxes, two little girls were skipping down the corridor, hand in hand back to class.

"I have a nice lunch today. I have an apple," said the first.

"Well I have a verruca!" said the second.

:roll:

[Hannelore N.]

"Miss, I didn't mean to upset Tom. But he is sooooo stupid!"
"I'm not stupid. My Mum says my Dad is the really stupid one. You can check him out at parent evening."

From a piece of Science homework: "Velocity is when you do something really fast, like farting."

"Miss, can you help me?"
"Sure."
"My Mum is pregnant again. She'd be much happier if we could get rid of my 5 sisters and make sure this one is a boy."
(I'm good at my job, but I can't work miracles.)

12-year-old hands over a plastic bag. Inside three pairs of school trousers. I ask him:
"Sam, what do you want me to do with your school trousers?"
"I told my Mum that you sometimes help in Textiles and that you are real good. Mum thinks you should mend my trousers. They have all split down the middle."
Rather than sending the mother to parenting classes or sewing classes, I mended the trousers and sent them home with a note saying: "Mrs. ......., please, feel free to come into school any time and I'll show you how to mend Sam's trousers." Response from home: Nothing. Response from Sam: He keeps showing his bum to his friends with the comment: "Miss has mended them!"

And finally: In a history lesson after several weeks of covering World War II, a little girl whispers to me (it's well known in school that I'm German): "Miss, I'm so glad you survived!" Mmmhhh...... I was born in 1952 and don't normally look my age.

[Hannelore N.]

this just reminds me of something that happened w/ my twins in Kindergarden, only it wasn't a child saying this:
Near the end of the year, Andrew was feeling ill so I went to get him. The nurse says: I notice you call him Andrew but I thought his name was Scott?

So I guess she thought that child was doubly clumsy or sickly as she saw him twice as often!

Florence, back after a busy busy June!

[Lynn K.]

From the mouths of babes.......

My daughter was a first grade teacher.

In preparation for a lesson that was to include frightening weather situations, she asked the class, "What is the scarriest thing you ever saw?"

A small boy at the back of the class raised his hand frantically to get her attention - and responded, "My dad's penis!"

How do you respond to THAT one?

[Lynn K.]

I was thinking about the posts with the lovely comments made by the innocence of children and was wondering if anyone else had some more.

I was in a First School as head secretary for eight years and wish I had kept a note of some of them, even the ones that came into the staff room from other members of staff. I advise anyone who works with children to do so. At the very least it will bring a smile to your face in the future or you could make a booklet of it and sell it at the school fête.

My favorite that comes to mind...

At lunchtime, after washing hands and picking up their lunch boxes, two little girls were skipping down the corridor, hand in hand back to class.

"I have a nice lunch today. I have an apple," said the first.

"Well I have a verruca!" said the second.

:roll:

ROFL!!!!!
Lynn

[Lynn K.]

My daughter took Rachel (age 6) and Drea (age 20 months) along to the doctor for Johann's 3-year check up. A young male physician's assistant they hadn't seen before checked Johann over, then asked for his permission to check the parts that were "inside his underwear." Johann agreed, and proudly announced, "Doctor - I have a penis!" Big sister piped up and said, "Yes, and I have a virus!" After the PA was able to control himself and stop chuckling, he gently explained her mistake.

[Cheryl F.]

OMG Maryrin a virus that is a riot

[Cheryl F.]

One of my friend's kids comments when seeing reindeer for the first time - "look mum, he's got ankles on his head!" :lol:

[Cheryl F.]

Oh these are good! Thanks for sharing! :lol: :lol:

[Jo H.]

I read this today and laughed out loud. It made me think of this discussion and I thought others might need a smile OR two!

***

<snip> I relate well to the comment made by Barbara Johnson: "Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." I know that if I can keep the motor idling, it will be ready to go when I need it.

"A kindergarten teacher practiced keeping her motor idling. A story has it that she was helping one of her students put his snow boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, they finally succeeded and she had by now worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "They're on the wrong feet."

"She looked and, sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off, and then she had to wrestle the stubborn boots on again.

"Just as she finished lacing them he announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue to keep from screaming, "Why didn't you say so?"

"Once again she struggled to pull off the ill-fitting boots. He then calmly added, "They're my brother's boots. My mom made me wear them." She began to realize how close she was to stripping her gears as she struggled with the boots yet again.

"When they were finally laced, she said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots," he said."

[Jean H.]

This is the story of my brother and my grand daughter on mom & dads 50Th anniv. The cake was beautiful and Shelby thought so too, she kept trying to get her fingers in the frosting, Bob kept catching her, now remember she is only 3 yrs old.

Bob told her to keep her fingers out of the frosting and said to her remember I`m the mean uncle Bob
Shelby said then you need to go home

10 minutes later Bob caught her again but this time Shelby had a fork not her fingers

Bob said do you want my hand on your butt
Shelby said no I want cake on a plate

How is that for a witty 3 yr old

[Karen M.]

When my Granddaughter Emily was 3 she came running in from the back yard all excited "Gramma, come quick there are lots and lots of Walmart butterflies in your yard!" You see I had just the day before told her to look outside and keep watch for the Monarch butterflies that were migrating through the area....out of the mouthes of babes! The chuckle was loud and long!

Another time at about that same age I had taken her outside at dusk to watch the Canadian "honkers" go overhead on there way to their sleeping grounds every night. Sure enough they came over head and she was enthralled with the loud honking they made as they passed overhead, she then ran into the house and told her Mom and Grandpa that they had missed the Canadian "hooters" and that was too bad cause she loved them!! I don't know who laughed the hardest...Mom or G-Pa!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Hannelore N.]

I can add to the Canadian geese experiences:

When my older son was about three he called me to the window, hopping up and down excitedly and shouting: "Mum, Mum, look! Canada Geese!" ............ A couple of elderly pigeons were having a rest on the grass outside of our house.

Lorchen

[Carla G.]

When my oldest son was 4 (he is 37 now!), we were moving to northern California from southern California. It was a VERY long drive, DH insisted on driving straight through.... we were all in the moving truck about 18 hours. As the time moved on closer to midnight, Tommy asked.... momma when will we get there.... so I in my innocence said.... just after these mountains honey.... about 2 more hours. Tommy peered through the windows up ahead to the winding forested highway. Momma, he said... are they taller than the "Vampire State building??". I laughed so hard I almost wet myself.

Carla

[Carla G.]

Years ago I read a hint that said to put sugar on your tongue if you burn it. (It works!) I shared that information with my children. Some time later, we were traveling in the car (DH driving) and I spilled hot tea on my leg. My daughter, age 9, said, "Quick, Mom, put sugar on it!" Children do listen sometimes, sort of.

My memory isn't so good these days but I remember that from 21 years ago.

JoAnne in southern Californa