Asperger's Syndrome -

[Julia L.]

I was browsing around some of the other topics and noticed one or two posting made by 'florence' which mentioned her two boys with Asperer's Syndrome - my little grandson (4) shows some signs - not diagnosed officially - but a bright little boy with definite leaning towards science already - and one or two other signs as well.

There are lots of forums on the internet on this subject but I wondered if there is anybody else on here that has been touched by AS?

[Julia L.]

My son's suite mate in college has asperger's syndrome. This is the third suite this young man has been moved to in the past two years. Somehow...he seems to have to connected with my son. While they are not roommates (the young man has his own room in the suite), everyone in the suite just simply accepts him for who he is. The Resident Assistant on the floor said this past year has probably been the most positive for this young man. He seems to have found a group of people who are accepting of him and his differences.
While I am sure the diagnosis of AS is not one parents want to hear...it is something which can be 'managed' with proper therapies.
Everyone has an idiosyncrasy...but it is learning how to live with it and being accepting of others as well.

FW

[Lynn K.]

I've known several people with the diagnosis, but of course, it runs the full gamut from no "visible" effects to seriously impaired life functions. It might be called the "diagnosis" of the decade by some who scoff at it, but when you watch somebody with it it is amazing how many challenges they have to overcome!
Lynn

[Lynn K.]

Yes, exactly - when does being 'quirky' or a little bit different become a 'syndrome' - I think some would say I am a bit eccentric because I don't fall into the 'shopaholic' mentality, at least, I can give clothes/shoes/bags a miss - but can't resist fabric!

[Lynn K.]

I have a 15 year old son with AS. He is bright and funny. He had a very hard time a few years ago. This was mainly because a certain teacher was very abrasive and voilent towards his class. Yes you read right and NO the school did not fire him. My son does not handle aggressive behavior very well. Infact he will remove himself from the situation completely. This is something that I taught him along time ago. He use to handle somones agression by hurting himself. For years he was diagnosed with attention defficit sometimes with hyper disorder sometimes without. He is very quiet and he will play with one toy in one spot for hours. ADD or ADHD is not what he is. When he threatened suicide 2 years ago due to this teacher's behavior, I was grateful. I know that sounds weird, but at least he said something. I was able to get him professional help. I quit messing around with the medical group doctors and went and seen the one I knew was the right one. Because he was in a crisis state I could do this and the insurance company couldn't stop me. Alex is highly functioning, AS. He also has dyscalcula (math is a foriegn language). He has his own sense of organization and time. No one else gets it and he does not understand normal time or organization. He has wonderful friends but only a few. They are really close to my younger son as well because they know that when they come over Alex will abandon them for awhile to be by himself then come back to be with them again. It is just something he does always has, always will. He has lost a couple girlfriends because he doesn't "MOVE" as fast as they would like him to. Which is fine with me. Right now he is dating a 13 year old. He adores her and they have a great time doing what ever the other wants. which is usually playing games and watching movies. He even braids her hair :roll: It really is sweet. Don't worry too much about that little boy just yet these teachers that are being educated now are learning on so many levels. My best advise is though find out if there is a "League for the Handicap" type school in your area and get him tested to see if he is eligible for any extra services like preschool. In this day and age a little extra help before starting school can't hurt a bit.
Rachel

[Margo C.]

Rachel, it sounds like Alex is really blessed to have you in his corner! I'm glad he's doing better.

[Margo C.]

That's my line I'm a therapist working mostly with middle and high schoolers on the spectrum. PDD/Asperger's with a host of other conditions. Amazing how much anxiety and depression comes with being different.

LOVE LOVE LOVE working with my boys. Despite their myriad social challenges, they want so much to learn to get along with others, and have some of the most giving and wonderful hearts I've ever met.

Lisa

[Margo C.]

Rachel - thanks for posting about your boy - interesting to hear about other people's experiences. My grandson has been at pre-school for a year now, and is about to start 'proper' school. They live in a small community where his child-minder taught at the school where he is due to start. His pre-school teacher has already spoken to his class teacher (with his mum's permission of course) about some of his problems, such as sudden/loud noises, which distress him a lot - but has also explained that he gets totally engrossed such that he doesn't always listen - and the positive side, his interest in science type things. It is early days yet, but my sister is a Youth Worker and is working with a 16 year old with AS - so my grandson has a brilliant mum fighting his corner for him - x

[Margo C.]

Sorry - the above post should have read 'daughter' not sister!! x

[Margo C.]

Hi, I haven't been able to get on here much lately but yes, my 17-yr-old twins both have Asperger's Syndrome and a Non-verbal learning disorder (they don't learn by watching, but can remember just about anything they read!) We didn't get a diagnosis until they were 13, at that time I read somewhere that they call this a disability "that grows on you" b/c it's not so evident as a small child... ie, you don't get lost in 1st grade b/c you follow the student in front of you everywhere, but by high school you're expected to know your way around & have some sense of space. So I don't know how they might diagnose a 4-yr-old, BUT it's great if they do. There are so many interventional therapies that can make a HUGE difference, I wish we had been able to take advantage of them earlier and longer... a pediatric occupational therapist was a god-send to me. Also speech therapy & social skills therapies.
We're now working on college applications & it's eating all my time, trying to get them to stay on track & get it done, but I am excited we've found a college that deals specifically with learning disabilities & ADHD, & Asperger's fits too.

Everyone has an idiosyncrasy...but it is learning how to live with it and being accepting of others as well.

FW it's great that your son is willing to "get along" with an Aspie roomie... You are so right being accepting makes a world of difference.
I'd be happy to discuss any of this privately as well or arrange a chat if anyone wants.
Florence

[Hannelore N.]

I work with Aspergers children every day (in an English mainstream school). Get in touch with me whenever you feel like it or have any questions.

Lorchen

[Hannelore N.]

Hello Hannelore - thanks for posting - I remember you work with special needs children - as I think I said earlier my grandson is only 4 so very early days yet - but if you don't mind it would be good to be able to be in touch in the future should we need any pointers! x

[Hannelore N.]

It's never too early to work out what help is available, and what you are entitled to under the law. Applications always have to be accompanied by all sorts of documents, and it takes time to go through the process of putting anything in place. When your lad starts school, the school will have a SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator), either fulltime (in big schools) or a teacher doubling up to do SENCO work. You must develop a good relationship with your SENCO. He/she will be responsible for all the administration of setting up special support in school, and keeping a constant eye on the lad.

And - equally important: Remember that Aspergers' kids may be very difficult and unable to do various things, but I have yet to work with one that has not got a talent in some area. It's mega-important to identify those strengths, and support and encourage them. You then have a child that may struggle in some areas of mainstream education, but they will develop self-confidence because of the things that they are good at.

Keep it touch! Lorchen

[Margo C.]

Lorchen, you are a special lady! I've never had to deal with AS, but my youngest and I both have some dyslexia, and it was the special help that Joshua got in school that made all the difference in how he was able to deal with his learning issues. God bless you for what you do for those kids!!!

[Margo C.]

My grandson's childminder used to teach at the school he is due to start, and knows the Special Needs lady well - as does his pre-school teacher - so some links there already. He lives in a village with just two schools and I think all this will help him. One thing I know, is that my daughter (as a Youth Worker) is concerned about 'labels' - and how a 'label' can be both a hindrance and a help. Point taken about finding out where his strengths are - seems to be science based - he really is funny sometimes - fascinated by light bulbs/electricity and quite knowledgeable even at 4. He is such good company, always smiling and basically so straight-forward; and although demanding in some respects, so good natured too!