Pet peeves

[Liberata T.]

I guess I started this but it's all in good fun. I told DH about our forum discussions and he had a good laugh. He checked my bag for scissors . He calls his endearing behaviors "foibles: harmless peculiarities in a person's character." He's quite proud of them. He says he doesn't need a forum to complain about me because I'm perfect :roll: . He also says that the forums he frequents give plenty of opportunities to complain about DWs.

He has given and still gives the following advice to all his male aquaintances. "Learn how to say, 'Yes, dear' with sincerity and accept blame graciously." Then he makes them practice and critiques their level of sincerity. He even did this at a dinner party to the VP of a very large telco. When we get to a new country the first phrases he learns are how to order a beer and "Yes, dear." He learned Italian, French, German, Spanish, Polish but failed Chinese

[Liberata T.]

I don't know too much about chinese culture but I think that it is an insult to say yes to the wife. Doesn't the wife have to walk so far behind the husband. Aren't women like second class or something isn't that why there are so many female children in the orphanages there. I could be wrong but I do know that female children are usually unwanted. And YES my impulse filter and control button is still missing. :? Yes this is still causing problems. The good news is though I can't remember half the time why I have angered people so I don't care that they are angry. :P Which angers them even more. At the golf corse again today. Husbands boss was drinking at 7:30 AM :!: :!: :!: :shock:

[Liberata T.]

By the way I don't truely believe that for a chinese husband to say yes to his wife is really an insult. I do believe the reason that there is so many female babies in thier orphanages is because of the 1 baby rule. If these people could have more then 1 they would keep thier girls but they preffer the boys for the namesakes.
I could be wrong though Rachel

[Liberata T.]

I cannot speak for any Chinese culture but my understanding is that the 1 baby rule is the main reason for the unwanted girl problem. Sons are of value because they provide lifetime labor and prestige for the family while girls go off to the husband's family. So you see, if the couple have one daughter, she will go off the serve the husband's family and her parents will have no one to help them and care for them in their old age.

We lived in Singapore with a majority Chinese population but with a culture very different, very complex, and very much its own. In my limited, one year experience, the wealthy Singaporean wife was highly respected and well cared for.

Anyway, DH's "yes, dear" is tinged with feigned sincerity and could never be mistaken for subservience.

[Liberata T.]

I have always been interested in other cultures and traditions in other parts of the world. Because American women have become so liberated, we often believe that women in other cultures are not.
One factor that I always keep in mind is the role of religion in a culture. The religion will shape the traditions and beliefs of the gender roles. As we become a global society, the traditional roles will be constantly challenged. With inter-religious and inter-racial marriages becoming more and more common, the traditional roles (for men and women) will be in flux for several generations.
Not all change is good. Traditions help us to connect with our culture; it binds a group of people together. With the globalization of cultures, we will loose some cultures but perhaps will create new ones.
Since this is Independence Day weekend, I can say proudly I can be free to choose my role. But I have to remember, coming to this moment in time was a struggle for those women who came before me. Many thanks to the great-grandmothers, grandmothers, and mothers who fought for the right to vote, increased pay, the ability to have their own credit and the freedom to apply for any job.

One of my most loved phrases: Well behaved women rarely make history!!

FW

[Liberata T.]

I too love that saying along with my Grandmother's saying "Behind every successful man is a woman saying without me he couldn't even find his underwear." Gotta love Gramma
Rachel