This piece is called “the color of infinity.” It is 60″x60″, one of the largest whole cloth paintings I have ever done. I know I’ve shown this piece before, but today I want to talk about it in a new way.

I’ve entered this piece into two juried shows. It has been rejected two times. This is a tough blog post to write because it’s tough to talk about rejection. I’ve spent the last several years “putting myself out there.” This is a bit scary because there are no guarantees. I know in my head that you can’t please all the people all the time, but it still stings my heart when I believe that something I’ve done isn’t good enough.

So what do I do? Like I said in my last post, I just keep swimming. I remember WHY I make art. I make art because the process makes me feel alive, and worthy, and whole. Sometimes I get pulled away from my creative process by other things. I have to always remember that my heart is happiest when it has some free creative time.

I love this piece. I’m sorry that the two sets of jurors who have seen it didn’t feel the same way, but the challenge is to keep loving it myself. I don’t want to be the person who says, “To hell with ’em if they don’t like it.”

I want to learn from every experience and move my work forward. I want to be the graceful artist who believes in my heart that not everyone is going to like everything I do. I want to be the artist that puts my heart and soul into a piece of work, but doesn’t let that piece of work define my heart and soul.

What is winning about this piece? It got me into that creative space where I lose track of time. It completely absorbed me in the thrill of making and problem solving. I want to go there again. That is the reward… Not acceptance into a juried show. That’s nice, and I’ll keep trying, but that isn’t the WHY of what I do.